thankful: forty-three and forty-four

in this week leading up to Easter, i am choosing to meditate more on the life of Jesus--on what he did, felt, said, experienced during the days before his death and resurrection.

in doing so, i came across a blog entry by Ann Voskamp wonderfully titled "The Necessary Non-Hallmark Part of Easter". simple and to the point, yet profound and so full of raw emotion, this piece of writing beautifully sums up what my heart is feeling this week, of all that i am deeply, eternally thankful for:

The children sleep and in a still house

I pour blood down the drain.

Scarlet drips from bowl’s edge and I’m struck

with images of the cutting of a throat, pools and reek of

of plasma, cells, platelets,

and this appeal of peaceable vegetarianism.

I rub the marinate into the lamb,

blood ponding on plate,

my hand massaging the meat,

fingers pressing out more blood,

and think of socially acceptable religion,

inoffensive theology

my nostrils filling with this stench of sin,

mine,

and my one beating heart hurting for the only God whose wild love

had him tear open a vein

and do the repulsive,

become a lamb dragged to the slaughter

without bleating or begging

only bared

for the outrageous shedding of blood

to cleanse this mess

stained deep into my skin.