thankful: forty-five

today is Good Friday, a day in which i commemorate the pain, grief, and suffering of my Savior's sacrifice for me. to say that i am thankful for what Jesus did this day would be such an understatement it's almost insulting. but i am only flesh and bone, and my little mind and little vocabulary cannot come up with many other words besides that one. oh, how thankful i am--deeply, purely, awesomely and utterly thankful.

Bruce Shelley is quoted in my devotional from today as saying this: "Christianity is the only religion to have as its central event the humiliation of God." such truth lies in that one sentence. the crux of all that i, as a Christian, believe in is in this weekend. today, a long, long time ago, Jesus Christ of Nazareth was humiliated, beaten, tortured, abused, rejected and scorned--for me. he bled, he cried out, he endured the hatred of many. "his own people wildly demanded his death. his friends deserted him, and even his intimately loving Father turned away."

reading that made me think about how Jesus truly is a man who was acquainted with sorrows. he saw us--saw me--in my mess of sticky emotions and rejections and pain, and chose to enter into that human experience. why? i believe he wanted to truly be able to say, "Elena, i understand. i know the bitter ache of rejection, for the ones that i was so wildly and passionately in love with did not return my love. i know the sting of feeling abandoned, even by your Abba, for i felt that same sting on the cross."

so today, even in the anguish i feel as i remember all that my Jesus had to go through, i cannot help but look up at him, tears streaming down my face, and whisper two little words:
"thank you."

and then Jesus smiles at me, kisses me softly on the forehead, and whispers back:
"it was my joy--because i did it for you."