doing versus being.

These past few weeks have not been easy for me. I've been struggling quite a bit, but not with any one thing in particular. It's been more of a combination of all the little things that don't matter much in and of themselves. But it seems like all those little things always add up to one big thing, eventually -- and that's the place I've been in the last little while. I've been tired and frustrated and lonely and kind of just...done.

Throughout all of that, there's been one phrase that keeps coming to mind during my prayer times: "doing versus being."
At first, I didn't really understand what that meant. But then, one day last week, a friend and co-worker was talking with me about the struggles I've been having, and she said she's seen over and over again the dangers of being in a place where we try to do things on our own strength. She cautioned me to to slow down and stop trying so hard to do and, instead, be content to just be.
In that moment, everything made sense. See, by my nature, I'm a "do-er." I suppose it comes from having to fend myself for so long; now, I'm just used to it. On any given day, I can think of a million different things I need to do. But, on the other hand, I find it very difficult to take the time out and the time off to just be in the moment.
So it's really no wonder that I was struggling and exhausted and just having an all-around hard time. I was fighting to keep going on my own strength and, in reality, I'm not strong at all. I'm actually very weak:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses...For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12.9-10

I'm not sure that I'm at the point where I can honestly boast about my weaknesses. I am, however, learning to accept them and embrace them; for I know that, in doing that, I'm opening myself up to be a filled with a strength that is not my own.
God's not asking me to do anything to receive it but be just as I am -- broken, weak, and utterly desperate for Him.