Learning to Love

During a conversation with a friend back home the other day, she asked me if I had made any resolutions for 2010 and, if so, what they were. Now, as a general rule, I don't buy into the whole "new year's resolution" thing; I do, however, make it a point to seek God out and ask Him what He wants to teach me in the coming year. Last year, He taught me all about trust, that I can place all hope and security in Him alone. This year on December 31st, I was sitting on a rooftop, lost in thought and in the starry sky above, when it came to me: love more. It's the first and greatest commandment--and the second is like it.

Now, to be perfectly honest, I didn't really think I had all that much to learn about love. Love God? Check. Love others? Check (most of the time.) Actually, I thought I was doing pretty good in the love department. 'So, what's the lesson, God?'
The lesson, it's beginning to seem -- or at least one of them -- is that no matter how much I think I'm loving, it's still not enough.

To prove His point (as if necessary), God started to really speak to me through Matthew 22:37-39, the same passage that brought all this on in the first place. In verse 37, Jesus identifies the greatest commandment as the one that says to love God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. That means He wants -- no, commands--us to love Him with everything we have in us: every thought, every emotion, every hope, every desire, every motive, everything. He wants it all. The more I thought about this, the more I realized everything that I continue to hold on to; there is still a lot of my heart and soul and mind that I haven't given up. And if I haven't given all of it over in love to Him, then I'm not obeying His command. I thought that I was loving God, but He showed me that it's not enough. He wants (and deserves) so much more. Ouch. Talk about a hard pill to swallow! (And it doesn't end there.)

Jesus goes on to say, in verse 39, that the second commandment is like the first: Love your neighbor as yourself. My mind immediately went to of all the kids that I work with on a day-to-day basis. Do I love them? Of course. I was reminded of one iFast Wednesday a few weeks ago that was particularly powerful for me. All day long, I felt like I was being enveloped in emotion for the children I was serving. I was so very aware of the fierce love I felt for them. And one thought kept coming: What you're feeling is only a fraction of My heart for them.
It's true; yes, I love these kids. I want them to have every opportunity in life. I want to see them succeed, to have their every dream come true. It hurts me to think of them being hungry or hurting, dirty or sick or lonely or sad. But these children are God's; they are His masterpieces, His beautiful handiwork. No matter how much I love them, He will always love them more.

The pieces started to fit together in my mind. I love these children because God loved them first (1 John 4:19). Furthermore, because God loves them, He expects me to love them also. But it doesn't end there. God's love isn't limited to the orphans here in Liberia--nor does He want my love to be limited to them, either. He loves them just as much as He loves the kids back home. He loves them just as much as He loves my friends, my family, my co-workers. And He loves them just as much as He loves my enemies, those who have wronged or hurt or offended me, just as much as He loves people that I don't even know, people I may have met but have no real relationship with, and just as much as He loves me.

Wow. It's actually a pretty simple truth, I know, but its implications are revolutionizing the way I look at love. If I love God (and I do!), and I want to follow Him (and I do!), then I can't deny what He asks of me. ("If you love me, you'll obey my commands." John 14:15) See, no matter how hard I try to argue my way out of it, I keep returning to Matthew 22:39: The second commandment is like it [the first]: Love your neighbor as yourself. He doesn't say to just love those who love me back. He doesn't say it's okay to love myself but ignore my neighbor, or to love my neighbor but neglect myself; they go hand-in-hand. And as I do this, as I live out my life in love--true love, deep, beautiful, God-honoring love, lives are being transformed. I am being transformed. And I get the sense that God is happy, that His heart is smiling and His name is lifted high, and that His kingdom is permeating this earth in some small way.